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Fandom:American Idol
Pairing: Kris Allen/Adam Lambert
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Kris's reason for being in the hospital.
Edited by myself.

Chapter 16 1/2

The next day Neil made sure Kris ate something before he left for the studio. He met up with some of his new band and some song writers, but he didn't feel like writing. When they took a break for lunch Kris called Katy to congratulate her. He didn't tell her about his and Adam's fight, or that he had walked out. Katy was on her way to the doctor's for her first prenatal check up. Kris was unspeakably happy for her, glad that he had done at least one thing right. He tried calling Adam again but there was still no answer. He returned to the recording room depressed and miserable, not wanting to be there. Days went by like that, with Kris feeling listless and alone. He had Neil and the people he was recording with, but Kris wanted Adam. Every day he called Adam and eventually he got the machine. He left messages but Adam never called him back. After three weeks he stopped leaving messages. He asked Neil to go check on Adam, and make sure that he was okay. When Neil got back he told Kris that Adam had become an even bigger asshole than usual and had kicked him out. Slowly it dawned on Kris that he had to live without Adam. He couldn't believe that after all that they'd been through they were done, just like that.

One day, while Kris was working on a love song in the studio, he suddenly felt sick. He got up and ran into the bathroom, throwing up into the toilet. He shook as he looked down at the puke.

"Fucking shit," Kris said, "Adam gave me AIDS."

Shaking his head he knew that wasn't right. He felt sicker than he ever had been, so sick he wanted to die, but AIDS? It couldn't be. Could it? He washed the puke off himself and sat in the bathroom until he stopped shaking. Silently Kris made his way back into the recording room, telling no one about what had happened. Every day started the same way, with Kris puking his guts out and feeling sicker than he ever had before. He wanted to tell Adam, but he couldn't, and not just because Adam wasn't returning his phone calls. This wasn't something he could tell Adam, at least not yet; he couldn't tell anyone. Neil looked at him sympathetically as he rushed into the bathroom every morning. He knew that he was losing weight and that Neil could tell. Neil never asked what was wrong, just helped him drink water, wiped puke off him, and brought him warm blankets. Kris constantly felt like he was going to die but he wanted to work. Every day he got up and went into the studio, working on his songs and his album, determined to get it finished. By the time he was rushed to the hospital, Kris had completed ten songs, and he knew he had more in him.

Kris woke with a start. It took him a minute to remember that he was in the hospital. The bright lights confused him and flared up his nausea, causing him to throw up violently in a bowl beside the bed.

"Ah, you're awake," a soft voice said.

Kris opened his eyes wider and saw the nurse who had taken his vitals before, Nurse Terra, standing beside his bed, checking his heart rate.

"How-how long-" Kris tried to say but his throat was dry and he couldn't get the words out.

Nurse Terra helped Kris drink some water. She began taking his vitals and changing his bed pan and sheets.

"How long have I been asleep?" Kris asked.

"About three hours," Nurse Terra replied.

"Has anyone, has anyone asked, did someone come for me?"Kris asked.

"Well no one has been in your room," she replied. "I can check and see if anyone is in the waiting room."

"Please, yes, please do," Kris said.

Nurse Terra finished his vitals and left the room. A moment later the door opened again and a familiar face came into view.

"Hello Kris," Dr.. Anderson said, walking into the room.

"Dr.-Dr. Anderson," Kris stammered. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm listed as your primary physician," Dr. Anderson answered.

"I was called in for a consult," he continued. "Apparently the other doctors weren't quiet sure what to make of you."

"You-you diagnosed me," Kris said, knowing that it must be true.

Dr. Anderson nodded. "Were's your-" he started.

"Adam, we're," Kris paused, unsure of what to say. "I don't know what we are. We had a fight and I haven't heard from him."

"Well I would think that he would be interested to know-"

"I called him," Kris cut him off. "I asked him to come."

"This is a very big undertaking to attempt alone," Dr. Anderson said shaking his head.

"If you need-"

"I'm going to need so much," Kris interrupted. "I don't even know where to start."

"Well," Dr. Anderson said, "you'll probably want to hear-"

"Yes," Kris replied. "I do."

"I'll go get my equipment," Dr. Anderson said smiling, hastily leaving the room.

Kris lay back on his pillow. He closed his eyes and tried to calm his mind but it was too unsettled. He had just relived the last year of his life while he lay in a hospital bed. He hadn't planned on reliving his life and wasn't sure it had been a good idea. Kris tried to tell himself that he was waiting for Adam but his mind betrayed him.

"Its been three hours," voices whispered, "he's not coming."

"He is," Kris whispered back.

"He isn't," the voices whispered.

"Adam's coming for me," Kris told himself.

"No he's not. He doesn't want you anymore. If he did he would have returned your calls, or he would be here now."

Kris looked at himself underneath the blankets. He was pale and bloated and too thin, with deep hollows in his cheeks and dark circles under his eyes. Kris sighed and gave in. There was no way Adam would want him now.

"I blew it," Kris whispered to himself while tears began to fall. "I shouldn't have started that fight, I shouldn't have left him. Why did I leave him?"

"Adam doesn't love me anymore," Kris told himself between sobs. "I have to f-face this alone."

"And I don't know if I want to without him," he added to himself.

Kris tried to face the fact that Adam wasn't coming but it was too painful a thought and only sent him into a fresh bout of sobs.

"Everything's my fault," Kris thought bitterly. "Especially the reason I'm here. If I had just asked Adam to go out for condoms I wouldn't be slowly wasting away."

Kris thought back to that day, when Adam had made love to him twice without a condom. He wanted to blame Adam for doing this to him, but only ended up blaming himself. Remembering how much in love they had been then made Kris sob dejectedly into his pillow.


Kris laughed bitterly to himself.

"I can hear him," he thought. "I can hear Adam calling me. But its just my mind playing tricks on me."


Kris heard Adam calling him again but wouldn't believe it; shaking his head he tried to clear the pain away.

"Kris, where are you?"

Kris could hear Adam's voice getting closer and sat up to hear it better.

"KRIS! Where ARE you?"

Adam's voice was right outside his door. Adam didn't know that he was there.

"adam," Kris crocked, "adAM. I'm here Adam."

"That's my-I'm his- I'm Adam fucking Lambert tell me where the fuck he is," Kris heard Adam say.

"Adam," Kris called with all his might. "I'm right here Adam."

His hospital room door was thrown open and there was Adam, his face a ghostly white contrasting with his black hair and clothes. He held a large bouquet of flowers in one hand and was fighting back angry nurses with the other.

"It's okay, I want him here," Kris said.

The nurses glared at Adam but went back to their posts. Nurse Terra brought Adam a guest pass, which he put on as he entered the room; closing the door behind him.

"I'm sorry I took so long, they wouldn't let me see you because I'm not family," Adam said.

He took in Kris's appearance and gasped

"Oh my God Kris," Adam said. "What the hell happened to you?"

Kris couldn't think straight. Adam was here, after all these lonely weeks apart Adam had come to him. Adam was in his room, asking why he looked so shitty. Shame, guilt, and embarrassment over took Kris and he started to cry again. Adam rushed to Kris's side, setting the flowers on the table by the bed.

"Baby?" Adam asked. "Kris honey, what is it?

Adam grabbed one of Kris's withered hands and kissed it, pressing it against his face. Kris reached for Adam with his other hand, his fingers brushing against Adam's forehead, eyelids, cheeks, and lips. Adam pressed a very soft kiss to Kris's lips, wrapping his arms around Kris and holding him while he cried. Kris clung to Adam, never intending to let go, and crying against his skin. Adam waited until Kris cried himself out, then helped him drink some water and lay back.

"Kris, baby," Adam said, pulling back a little to look at him.

Kris saw tears in Adam's eyes.

"I'm so sorry. That guy, Brett or whatever, he didn't mean anything. I forgot all about him until that message. I'm so sorry that I cheated. I've been trying so hard to be true to you but I slipped up and I'm sorry. It won't happen again, I promise."

Kris shook his head.

"I should apologize," Kris said. "I know you've been trying. I shouldn't have bitten your head off. I'm sorry for calling you an asshole and for leaving."

"I deserved so much worse than that," Adam said, kissing Kris's hands.

"I'm sorry I was a shitty boyfriend."

"I could have been better myself," Kris said.

Adam leaned over Kris and gently brought their lips together. When he opened his eyes Kris was smiling.

"There's so much I want to tell you," Adam said, pulling the chair up and sitting beside Kris. "Fuck I want to know everything that's been going on in your life. Like why you're in a hospital looking like-"

"Shit?" Kris finished for him.

"Well yeah," Adam said laughing. "What the fuck happened to you."

"Remember the last time, or times, that we made love?" Kris asked, settling into the pillows.

Adam's eyes widened as he remembered, then suddenly his face drained of color.

"No, you-but I'm-I just checked-"

"Adam," Kris interrupted Adam's stammering. "I'm pregnant."


( 25 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 30th, 2010 01:21 pm (UTC)
OMG, I'm really glad it's not aids. You can't undo that. But, really, didn't see that one coming.

Thanks for updating, can't wait for more
Jul. 30th, 2010 02:06 pm (UTC)
WOW, pregnant? :D

well, you've got almost everybody thinking he would have aids :p
I'm glad he hasn't though!

and I hope Adam will stay faithful now :)

great job bb, as always ;)
Jul. 30th, 2010 08:02 pm (UTC)
Yep. :D

hehe I wanted everyone to be surprised. ;) Me too.

He will. His reactions are pretty funny though.

Thank you bb! :D
Jul. 30th, 2010 07:59 pm (UTC)
That was just Kris's fears and insecurites steming from Adam cheating. I now, I couldn't do that to bb Kris.

You're welcome, thanks for reading. :)
Jul. 31st, 2010 05:38 am (UTC)
I couldn't do that tp bb Kris, I mean how horrible would that be?


You're welcome bb. :)
Jul. 30th, 2010 02:41 pm (UTC)
Jul. 30th, 2010 08:03 pm (UTC)
Pregnant Kristopher.

The doctor attrmpts to explain in the next chapter.
Jul. 30th, 2010 05:14 pm (UTC)
I KNEW IT! I can't believe you guys missed all the signs. I've been dying for 15 chapters for Daddy Adam to get to that hospital and find this out. :D

♥ ♥ ♥

Please don't keep us waiting to long...I'm not going to make it. lol
Jul. 30th, 2010 08:04 pm (UTC)
Yay, I'm glad you knew bb! Oh Daddy Adam is going to be frickin adorable! Just you wait. And you won't have to very long, I'm already planning chapter 17. ;)
Jul. 30th, 2010 07:46 pm (UTC)
Ah-ha! I started to think that might be it when he started throwing up all the time in the morning. But I still wasn't sure up until the end.
Jul. 30th, 2010 08:05 pm (UTC)
I wanted it to be a surprise, so Kris's fears kind of lead the chapter. Thanks for reading bb. :D
Jul. 30th, 2010 09:55 pm (UTC)
that a very interesting twist to the story
Jul. 31st, 2010 01:39 am (UTC)
Thanks. :)
Jul. 31st, 2010 08:59 pm (UTC)
Adam still has to explain why he didn't return kris's phone calls for weeks?

I love this story.
Aug. 2nd, 2010 06:05 am (UTC)
That's true, I'm still working on that part. I'm thinking he was just being really stubborn and it took him for-ev-er to admit that he was being an idiot and by that time, Kris was in the hospital.

Thank you bb. :D
Aug. 8th, 2010 01:02 am (UTC)
When are we getting another update? I love this story
Aug. 8th, 2010 01:44 am (UTC)
Hopefully tomorrow. Thank you bb. :)
(Deleted comment)
Sep. 14th, 2010 10:14 pm (UTC)
Yep. I wanted it to be a surprise. :DDD

I'm glad you're enjoying this story. :D
Sep. 14th, 2010 01:34 pm (UTC)
What? I thought he had some serious terminal disease. OMG!
Sep. 14th, 2010 10:15 pm (UTC)
That's what I wanted you all to think. Surprise! ;)
Sep. 27th, 2010 12:17 am (UTC)
Holy shit!!
Sep. 27th, 2010 10:17 pm (UTC)
I'll take that as a compliment.;)
Jun. 8th, 2011 02:00 am (UTC)
Качественный блог
Радует, что ваш блог постоянно развивается.
Jun. 8th, 2011 02:23 am (UTC)
Re: Качественный блог
Thank you. :)
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 30th, 2012 10:49 pm (UTC)
Re: Благодарю за блог
You're welcome. I'm glad you're enjoying it. :D

Пожалуйста. Я рад, что вы наслаждаетесь этим. : D

Edited at 2012-01-30 10:51 pm (UTC)
( 25 comments — Leave a comment )